Warning: Trigger alert for vegans and omnivores alike.
I do not like to write articles or post about my health on social media or in my blog, but I felt compelled to share a recent experience I had and explain why I am feeling the way I am about some of interaction, and mainly because of the ancient practices that I participate in. People want solutions that are just not feasible to sustain the amount of people on this planet and it gets really scary to think that anyone that eats the flesh of something living would not be considered sacred or welcome on this planet. Like eating a plant based diet is the only way to enlightenment and this is not true for me.
After going to a recent event that was held at a vegan or plant based healing center last week and the comments and accusations that I received while in attendance and even after returning home continued, triggered a response in me with some things I hadn’t totally processed or come to terms with. In August of 2017, I decided to go vegetarian. During this time I was trying to clean up my diet. I gave up pasta, breads and most meat products to sustain a grain and vegetable based diet. Little did I know that the brain and heart need animal proteins and nutrients to function properly.
My immune system was compromised and I was left susceptible to infections and actually got a brain infection started from infection in a tooth that quickly spread to 12 other teeth and I was hospitalized. Many trips to the hospital and doctor ensued because my blood pressure was so high and I had to get a prescription to lower my blood pressure and it still wasn’t working. The doctors didn’t know why I was showing signs of mental illness and my blood pressure was sky rocketing. I was hallucinating and hearing high pitched noises in my ears and in the back of my head. I thought I was going crazy. After research, I have come to the possibility that it might have been the lack of fatty animal tissue and marrow in my diet.
I made a promise to the animals that I wouldn’t take another life to sustain mine. I had been living in harmony by praying and blessing and showing gratitude to all life that was given so that I may live on, but I felt this was not walking and talking in alignment with my highest good. This resulted with a conflict in my soul that lasted for eight days of me believing I was some type of hypocrite and zombie for eating flesh. I was found on the side of the road in the freezing cold in the desert. Then a few hours later flatlining and having a heart attack at age 39. The next hospital I ended up at misdiagnosed me with bipolar because all of my brain chemistry was out of whack. I also went to one hospital and they thought I had bacterial meningitis by testing my spinal fluid with a total of three spinal taps. I had to be given five different antibiotics but no one could really tell me what was causing this in me. How I could go from healthy to this state?
I smelled death all around me and it was too much for me. I started hallucinating through all of my senses. Smell, taste, touch, and most importantly my cognitive functions. I was short circuiting. I had lost 50 pounds in a few months. Yes, I was looking great but my mental and physical health were deteriorating. I had dry patches all over my body, my hair was falling out and I stopped secreting natural oils from my glands in my body. I don’t want to be told that I was imagining this and during this time many people acted like I was just crazy and delusional. They did not know what was going on with me. I was hallucinating and lashing out against everyone and couldn’t carry on a rational conversation. I was taking risks and not acting like myself. I thought because I was eating flesh I would not get to be apart of the new earth and that I would be kicked out of the symbolic garden and out of the family for participating in the act of eating the flesh of animals. This caused me much cognitive dissonance. This made me think of myself as a hypocrite and that I was the zombie. I am still healing and recovering from this.
I’ve been trying to wrap my head around all the imagery I saw: of goats, sacrifice, and atonement crap and a spectrum of things that I thought I had come to terms with and it is because of this idea that I don’t want to hunt anything or cause any being to feel fear because of me or the act of eating – consumption. And then the whole being a programmed Zombie by media, healthcare, pharmaceutical and food industry ideology really impacted me. We all just want to survive this cycle of change and I would hope that for the sake of Unity we can accept others for being who they are and what is in their nature even if it isn’t in harmony with their own lifestyle choices. I am glad that I am able to discuss these matters in a healthy, loving and open discussion with my friends that know me.
Plants Will Save Us All
The people at the event reminded me of the game Plants Vs. Zombies because they truly believe that eco-friendly, sustainability based purely on the global production of plants is the only viable solution to save our planet. That to truly awaken from our zombie-like state we have to only eat plants. With their harmless and pure goal of not killing anything on the planet they believe that their way of life is the only way to live a sacred life and this bothers me that anyone would use their way of life to alienate or ostracize others.
This type of group think and agenda is not in alignment with me or my service. I will not be forced to practice customs, or be guilted into it to be friends or participate in ceremonies. I don’t operate that way and it is in conflict with my true will. I will not force anyone to do anything. My job is to be in communion and work with self towards liberation of the spirit, mind and body – not creating more burdens or the idea of “sin”. Something that I do not believe in – the only sin is restriction of your highest self. Only you can decide that for yourself and within the social contract that you have made with yourself and the society that you choose to live in.
The other side of this is that they are unintentionally misinforming people and telling them that this is the most pure state of living. In reality, we can’t sustain all the life on this planet, sustain ourselves living on the consumption of plants alone. We depend on way too many animals to live in a global world without animal product usage. We all need to do our research before we continue to make people feel less of a people for not being able to do it.
Documentaries Will Save the Day
I was told at the event that all I needed to do to get in alignment and harmony with this movement was to watch documentaries on the food industry and it would most certainly change my views on the treatment of animals and the diet that I want to consume. But what it did, was help me figure out the mystery of why I got so sick when I was trying to make healthier changes.
I started with What the Health. Like many others, I felt shamed and guilted that I had participated in activities that were abhorrent to living beings. Let me say that when I grew up on farms and helped take care of the animals, I became rather attached to them and could not eat the animals that became like a pet to me. After feeding and caring for them it is hard to participate in consumption of the animal. But raising the animal is the only way to know for sure what diet it consumes and how it is treated in an ethical and humane way.
The way that I had always tried to come into alignment with this action was to pray and bless my food before I consumed it to sanctify it. Not only was I told that Kosher rites and blessings from priests and holy people were null and void because nothing could be considered holy that takes the life of another being I also posed the question: What about all the laws in the old testament and many native cultures that sacrifice and honor the animals life, but still take its life as an offering? What about the act of atonement that Jesus Christ stands for in place of these animal sacrifices by consuming the body of christ instead? This is another practice that I am not in alignment with even though I am a bishop and priestess. I will not partake in ritual cannibalism or cannibalism of any form.
I wanted to be fair so I watched a few more documentaries from the other side of the fence.
The NWO Diet – An Anti-Vegan Documentary
As dark as the title sounds, it actually was the most informative with data from doctors and nutritionists from all over the globe who said that the food pyramid it completely wrong and backed by the FDA, healthcare and pharmaceutical industry, who’s job is to keep patients sick and not to help you get well. Many people turn to vegetarian diet and find themselves sick and malnourished.
I tried to tell the people that confronted me at the event about my plight and attempt at living a vegetarian diet. I was told that I was doing it wrong and I didn’t get enough vitamins and supplements. Although I do appreciate my friends who support me and want to try to educate me, I really did try to do it and gave it 100%. I tried to explain that I was severely vitamin D deficient and anemic and in some cases supplements don’t work. I have a weird response to taking vitamin D where it makes me not able to feel my arms and they feel as if they are floating and not attached. The above chart shows how much you get of each nutrient with a serving of a fruit, a vegetable, a red meat, and liver and how much you get from each source.
Why do I have to validate everything I say? Isn’t my word good enough? Why must I be doing it wrong if it didn’t work for me? This is automatically the reception that I get when they look at my overweight body and assume that I just don’t care and to me it seems as if they are implying that I am too stupid to educate myself for my health or make better choices. I am not saying consume meat every day, but by consuming a serving of beef liver product once a week you get all the nutrients you need for the entire week and you cannot replace the nutrients that we get from animal proteins, the only other form that would be adequate would be from humans and unless you want to participate in that type of behavior, I suggest that we stick to using limited animal products.
Now my doctor tried to put me on Lipitor to block the bad cholesterol from being absorbed into my body – but we need cholesterol and this blocks the good cholesterol from being absorbed. After reading all the side effects from this medication, I decided to take my chances and not take this medicine and control with my diet. The symptoms above were all of the issues that I was experiencing but couldn’t get answers for. This also explains my hostility – aggression and “suicide” attempt. Something that I had never experienced before in my life and trust me, I have been in a lot shittier situations than I was then. I couldn’t remember most things from this period of time and had a near death experience. I just finally started remembering and processing everything.
The video went on to talk about how long we can live is according to the ratio of how long we weren’t vegetarians. It went on to talk about all of the cultures such as the Eskimos, which actually means eater of raw meat and how they wouldn’t survive if we went to a plant based society. I read other articles that talked about how the exportation of staples such as quinoa from Peru is causing the nation that grows it to starve because they can’t afford to buy it. How is depleting or eliminating a whole region of people less important the deforestation?
It also shows how plants feel and how they conducted tests to see what happens when insects prey on them. Carnivorous plants also eat animals and insects. Animals in the wild still feast on prey. Will we willing to let these animals go extinct that are strictly carnivores? I want others to understand that all living things have purpose and spirit. Spirits live within every plant and being on this planet. To decide that one is more superior than another is in dissonance and to eliminate one species for the sake of another is not the solution. So what is the solution to this problem?
Want the Taste of Meat But Not the Guilt?
The other thing that I can’t understand is that they want everything to taste like big macs or donuts so they make plant into burgers, hot dogs, nachos, bakery items and philly cheesesteaks and then charge twice as much for it because it tastes like meat but it’s not so there’s no guilty conscience for eating things that are meat like. The irony. I was told that if they prepared me an awesome vegan meal that I would change my mind and that all I needed to do was try 22 vegan recipes everyday for a month. I guess they are going on the concept of the 21 days that it takes to make a change in lifestyle.
I watched another documentary which stated that this was a form of population control or connected with Agenda 21 and that the food pyramid that we use as a guideline should be flipped to actually be able to sustain the nourishment of a healthy body. According to the video every household would be limited to a one child per family rule and that we would have to move into skyscraper apartments and off of the ground to have enough land to supply the demand of all the inhabitants. Then life would stop being supported because we would end up sick. Although, I detest the fear mongering tactics of Alex Jones and his media channel, but they seem to be one of the only ones challenging the globalization that would be involved in plant-based sustainability.
Raping Cows and Breastfeeding
I was accused of raping cows because I bought a milkshake from Dairy Queen and unknowingly disrespected the event for bringing it in. Then it got me thinking about how any woman could sustain nursing a baby on a purely vegan diet or if any parents tried to force their infants to be vegan while their bodies and brains were still developing. I found plenty of articles to support the tragedies that have happened due to starving babies on soy milk and apple juice.
Protein deficiency is one danger of a vegan diet for babies. Nutritionists used to speak of proteins as “first class” (from meat, fish, eggs and milk) and “second class” (from plants), but today this is considered denigrating to vegetarians. A vegan diet may lack vitamin B12, found only in animal foods; usable vitamins A and D, found in meat, fish, eggs and butter; and necessary minerals like calcium and zinc. When babies are deprived of all these nutrients, they will suffer from retarded growth, rickets and nerve damage.
The only thing that we don’t need in our diet is carbohydrates. Responsible vegan parents know that breast milk is ideal. It contains many necessary components, including cholesterol (which babies use to make nerve cells) and countless immune and growth factors. When breastfeeding isn’t possible, soy milk and fruit juice, even in seemingly sufficient quantities, are not safe substitutes for a quality infant formula. Yet even a breast-fed baby is at risk. Studies show that vegan breast milk lacks enough docosahexaenoic acid, or DHA, the omega-3 fat found in fatty fish. It is difficult to overstate the importance of DHA, vital as it is for eye and brain development.
I tried to show both extremes on this topic. I want to state that I also love my vegan friends and family and support their life choices. It just didn’t work for me. I try to stay somewhere in the middle and make conscientious decisions and choices based on how the animals are treated. I am not saying that we shouldn’t support compassionate and eco-friendly agricultural practice but I am more of the mindset that peacekeeping is trying to keep all humans from being killed by war and unnecessary murder and we can talk to these people and can’t seem to change society. How are we going to seriously force everyone to stop consuming animal products without becoming some militant agenda? If you fly in an airplane you are participating in something that uses animal products in the plane that carries you. There is gelatin made from animals in the fiber-optics for the communication devices that you use. Things would have to be changed in so many areas. Innovations and inventions would have to meet these demands.
According to the Farm Animal Welfare Council, a good farm animal welfare is based on ‘Five Freedoms’:
- Freedom from hunger and thirst.
- Freedom from discomfort.
- Freedom from pain, injury or disease.
- Freedom to express normal behaviour.
- Freedom from fear and distress.
I want every human being in society to be able to have this type of existence and my efforts will focus on that. We can create better conditions for animals including ones that are in zoos and in labs. There’s a lot of ways that we can make changes in the world and everything we do matters and has a purpose.
Indigenous cuisines offer clues about what humans, naturally omnivorous, need to survive, reproduce and grow: traditional vegetarian diets, as in India, invariably include dairy for complete protein, essential fats and vitamins. There are no vegan societies for a simple reason: a vegan diet is not adequate in the long run.
The other thing is that no one seemed to be giving the elders dressed in leather and wearing feathers any crap or had issues with rattles or instruments made of animals. Ancestor medicine is found in these sacred items and they are honored and blessed. What offended me is that some vegans said that my heritage and ways of sanctifying were outdated and needed to be modified and that our blessings and ceremonies didn’t make anything sacred. Who are they to decide who is holy and who is not? The last time I checked, we are all children of the Most High. Many Hindu customs such as pouring milk over linghams or ghee on lanterns are used in traditional ceremonies. Many people practice these customs and should not be made to think that their practices of adoration are unsacred just because they use animal items.
This may turn off a lot of people for coming to these healing events that are forced to participate in vegan only venues. This is like forcing people to be something that they are not for the sake of your own beliefs and to try to keep from offending those who don’t choose to practice that way of life. It sets the impression that they assume they are a superior race and know more than the ancients who gave them their yoga and created the methods and practices to reach a state of enlightenment more than 5,000 years ago and the natives who also hunt game and have been living in harmony with the animals since the birth of civilization.
All I know is I felt like I was being judged and labeled a hypocrite for practicing acts that I do to keep living. I shouldn’t come to share my love and energy and be treated in this manner to the point of triggering my fundamental upbringing and what happened to me when I tried to live what I had assumed was the healthiest and most humane way of living. The effects of this diet made me mentally unstable, it allowed me to perpetuate fear. This fear that I was no better than what I feared (the fear of being stalked and hunted or of the human dead returning to attack the living like Ishtar at the gates and threatening to bring back the dead).
I felt I was unworthy of living and that I was no better for consuming life. The persecution at the event forced me to deal with all of this that I had not processed. It was this vegan experience that left me on the side of the road in the freezing cold because my brain wasn’t functioning and I almost died. I don’t want to die to be in service or be the thing that I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be a hypocrite because I can’t sustain life on a vegan lifestyle or be told that there is nothing sacred about me or that my prayers for peace and the future are voided out. I hope that people will read this and share their experiences that they have been through. It is my hopes that in sharing my story it will be a warning to all of those trying to achieve this better lifestyle and failing. I want them to know that they are not failures or unholy people because they can’t do it.
Please check with a nutritionist before beginning any diet. Not all bodies are made the same and what works for one might not work for all.